5 steps to become cool if you are a loser.

Do you look like this? 

Would you rather look like this?

 If so you like many other people want to become cool. Lucky for you I have discovered the secret to becoming cool in these 5 easy steps.

Step 5. What is "cool"

Before we can fix you, we first need to know what exactly "cool" means. There are a number of misconceptions about what is cool and not, I've outlined them below. 

 UNCOOL                              COOL











Step 4. Creating a Posse


Now most cool people never go anywhere by them selves, they usually keep less cool people around to make them look cooler. Now before you start your posse you need to know your level of coolness(as to not get someone cooler than you) I have outlined the level of coolness below

Level 1- You constantly ask inanimate objects for their approval as you have no friends, or don't know how to use the computer or you actually do know how to use the computer but your so uncool even other lonely people on the internet don't want to be friends with you.

Level 2- You have some friends but you pay them to hang out with you.

Level 3 - You are semi-cool because your pretending your sister is your girlfriend.

Level 4 - You are known to everybody as cool, but they don't know your favorite movie is Pretty Woman.

Level 5- You are actually so cool you become a nerd again.

NOTE NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER LET THIS PERSON JOIN YOUR POSSE HE WILL STEAL YOUR GIRL: Killer Mango
Now that you know the levels of coolness , you need to gather your posse. The best places to look for people less cool than you are the following: Nickleback concert, Justin Bieber fan club, Selena Gomez fan club which is a Justin Bieber fan club by default.

Step 3 Language

Before you look the part of a cool guy , you need to talk like one. It's important to talk like a cool person and use up to date language. I've listed some such language below:

 " What's up my sznizzle, what is the down low on these youngens" "Yo , Yo Homie, what be the info on those loose goose over yonder?"


Step 2. Getting girls


For anyone to actually make the jump to being cool they need to get girls. Not just any girls but girls that are actually alive. Now other places would tell you it's important to be caring,loving, sweet, kindhearted, and generous. This is all wrong and you need to disregard everything you say.

The best ways to pick up girls are as follows:

Make them guilty if they reject you. Example: "I'll kill meself if you don't go out with me"

Pick up lines. Example: "Get in the car, and maybe your sister will live."

Dress to impress. Example : " I got these for 50 % at Walmart."

Step 5.

If you made it this far you don't need a Step 5, you already are cool enough.

Also if you want to check your coolness check out the man eating stone.